“Am I a Ginger or a Maryann?”
This is an example of some of the weird questions I throw at my fiancé’ at any given notice. And bless his heart he is always happy to “go there.”
I asked him this particular question because I was trying to get a handle on how other people see me. What my persona is like.
To anyone else this kind of question would be purely narcissistic, but to my darling, well…he indulges me. So I was surprised when he looked pensive, smiled then replied..
“Both.”
Huh. Good answer.
Yes. Glamour Girl next door. Yes, yes. That is what I strive for. I was lost in the thought when he added,
“And a little Lovely Howell too.”
Cue giant loud record scratch.
“Lovey was underestimated. Lovey was wiser than people give her credit for.” he said.
Poor Lovey. Everyone ignores her. Yes she was quirky and had crazy lashes and smeary makeup. But she dug her husband and twittered about in glamorous frocks in spite of being on a remote island.
Oh. Ok. When you put it like that.
But it actually got me thinking.
There is a wise woman inside me that I have been blowing off for years. Why on Earth am I always ignoring my inner Lovey Howell?
It is time to recognize her and bring her out.
This is perhaps where Lovey and I make our departure, but I still wonder who exactly my inner wise woman is?
I know she has always been here, but the inner critic has talked me out of her wisdom on more occasions that I care to mention.
I knew she sees beauty in situations and people very clearly even through mucky muck and dark stuff.
I know she feels like love and comfort.
I know she recognizes unnecessary drama and bravado and doesn’t engage in that sort of thing.
I know she feels grateful for this one short, beautiful abundant life.
I know she gets gentler, wiser and stronger the older I get.
I know she is lighthearted. I know she feels calm and lovely.
My critic used to think that my wise woman had no business even participating in the conversation. My wise woman smiles at my critic as if she were a petulant child.
The strange thing is, my wise woman and my critic actually get along. The more calm and quiet the wise woman is, the critic simmers down too. The wise woman loves the critic because it allows her to experience loving patience.
Without the wise woman the critic would run rampant.
They learn from each other constantly.
The wise woman knows that being wise doesn’t mean that you know everything. It only means that you accept things as they are so that you can take inspired actions to change things that need to be changed.
And she knows that some things are just meant to be left alone.
I vow to start noticing and considering my wise woman more often. Ya know, bringing her out on Sundays and stuff.
The irony is that the wise woman doesn’t care if I notice her or not. She is content to just witnesses the wonder of life and feels blessed to be a part of it.
Perhaps she is not so different from Lovey Howell after all. Crazy in her perfection.
