These days consciousness seems to be on everyone’s lips.
We seek awareness because we want to enjoy our lives. We want to feel good.
Lately my main lifestyle motivation is not the look of my home or wardrobe, but feeling good. Feeling good in my space and my skin.
I know what feeling good is. I know this because I can compare it to how I felt most of my life, which is bad.
Until I took responsibility for my body, my feelings and my life, I felt bad. When I actively sought feeling good, I felt better. And it led me to a radical decision. I decided to be happy.
Yes. Decided.
My default setting used to be so “ho hum.” Not terrible, but never ever great.
When I realized that I was the one holding myself back from happiness and feeling good, something clicked and I made the choice to feel good.
And wow! What a realization.
I realized that I actually had been feeling good already, but just had never given myself the permission to enjoy it. My happiness increased exponentially upon this realization. As a result I began to choose activities that supported and nurtured my happiness. I chose friends and my husband based on this permission to be joyful.
All these vast lifestyle improvements came because I chose to cultivate happy instead of ho-hum.
That is not to say I don’t have bad days, or PMS or grumpy moods. But by giving myself permission to feel joy, I take full responsibility for my own life and the happiness I feel.
It is not up to anyone else but me. My life. My happiness.
It boils down to something I learned from Viktor Frankl. Frankel survived three years in various Nazi Concentration camps including Auschwitz. His wife and entire family except his sister all perished. While encamped he practiced psychology on prisoners and came up with the seminal foundation of his life’s work. He theorized “even in the most absurd, painful and dehumanized situation, life has potential meaning and that therefore even suffering is meaningful.” We have no control over our life’s situations sometimes, but we always have control over our reactions.
At forty three, I feel good in my body. Most of the time I feel peace and well-being in my soul, and glamorous happiness in my life.
Permission to feel authentic happiness and enjoy my one precious life is my choice, and my dearest wish for you.
I don't really collect anything. Believe it or not, I am pretty much a minimalist. But I do love girly stuff. But if I collected anything, it would be vintage floral enamel pins. I just love all the colors and shapes. I have no idea how people get their hands on big bunches of them, 'cuz they are quite spendy. I love all the cool stuff people make with them on ETSY. I dream of a brooch for every outfit and season. For now I will have to be happy with the gorgeous photos!
I got all the images from Pinterest. If you want credit for your image please email me. I would be happy to link you!
I think one thing we can all agree on is dashing, suave gentlemen are always attractive. Whether it be dressed in a suit, or simple tee shirt and jeans, the softspoken and debonnaire dudes are always in style. I fantasize that they are smart and kind and open doors for you and stuff.
We forgive them of thier indulgences on highballs and an occasional cigar, because underneath that genlemanly exterior we imagine a intelligent, complex man who knows how to treat a lady.
*sigh*
The charming and "gone-too-soon" silent film star Rudolph Valentino.
The ever pontificating Peter O'Toole.
Dreamy eyed Gary Cooper.
The charming thespian Denzel Wahington.
The conscious playboy Leonardo DiCaprio.
The ledgendary Michael Jordan.
The gentleman Aussie Hugh Jackman.
The very kind and suave Mr. Fred Rogers.
The handsome, softspoken and totally yummy Gregory Peck. Aka. Atticus Finch.
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe tin kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.”
Audrey Hepburn
Audrey Hepburn really understood flirting. Flirting is about embracing the joy and the light hearted things in life. Flirting is putting on that flouncy dress and twirling.
When we see Audrey on screen, her beauty is so all encompassing that her natural glamour floods our senses and inspires us to be our most glamorous and flirty selves too.
I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love Audrey. To not love Audrey is to not love happiness, freedom, fun and the joy of life.
I will never get sick of Audrey because she embodies everything that bliss is to me.
If Audrey represents bliss to you, I invite you to share this post! And live today the Audrey way!
This is an example of some of the weird questions I throw at my fiancé’ at any given notice. And bless his heart he is always happy to “go there.”
I asked him this particular question because I was trying to get a handle on how other people see me. What my persona is like.
To anyone else this kind of question would be purely narcissistic, but to my darling, well…he indulges me. So I was surprised when he looked pensive, smiled then replied..
“Both.”
Huh. Good answer.
Yes. Glamour Girl next door. Yes, yes. That is what I strive for. I was lost in the thought when he added,
“And a little Lovely Howell too.”
Cue giant loud record scratch.
“Lovey was underestimated. Lovey was wiser than people give her credit for.” he said.
Poor Lovey. Everyone ignores her. Yes she was quirky and had crazy lashes and smeary makeup. But she dug her husband and twittered about in glamorous frocks in spite of being on a remote island.
Oh. Ok. When you put it like that.
But it actually got me thinking.
There is a wise woman inside me that I have been blowing off for years. Why on Earth am I always ignoring my inner Lovey Howell?
It is time to recognize her and bring her out.
This is perhaps where Lovey and I make our departure, but I still wonder who exactly my inner wise woman is?
I know she has always been here, but the inner critic has talked me out of her wisdom on more occasions that I care to mention.
I knew she sees beauty in situations and people very clearly even through mucky muck and dark stuff.
I know she feels like love and comfort.
I know she recognizes unnecessary drama and bravado and doesn’t engage in that sort of thing.
I know she feels grateful for this one short, beautiful abundant life.
I know she gets gentler, wiser and stronger the older I get.
I know she is lighthearted. I know she feels calm and lovely.
My critic used to think that my wise woman had no business even participating in the conversation. My wise woman smiles at my critic as if she were a petulant child.
The strange thing is, my wise woman and my critic actually get along. The more calm and quiet the wise woman is, the critic simmers down too. The wise woman loves the critic because it allows her to experience loving patience.
Without the wise woman the critic would run rampant.
They learn from each other constantly.
The wise woman knows that being wise doesn’t mean that you know everything. It only means that you accept things as they are so that you can take inspired actions to change things that need to be changed.
And she knows that some things are just meant to be left alone.
I vow to start noticing and considering my wise woman more often. Ya know, bringing her out on Sundays and stuff.
The irony is that the wise woman doesn’t care if I notice her or not. She is content to just witnesses the wonder of life and feels blessed to be a part of it.
Perhaps she is not so different from Lovey Howell after all. Crazy in her perfection.
Coffee makes me cray cray. In the bad way. But I still love it. I have one cup in the morning and that is it. Otherwise there would be trouble.
So what is a girl to do when coffee break time comes around? Why look at gorgeous photos of coffee of course.
I love the idea of sitting down with a book, and sipping away at a latte with cinnamon sprinkles, while feasting on a delicious sweet slice of sumpthin’.
Only if I actually did that I would be so buzzed that I would have to have a self-imposed time-out just to save others from myself. Lady is caffeine sensitive.
So instead of indulging with our mouths, let’s feast with our eyes! Join me for the most decedent coffee break ever in which we have it all from the frothy foam to the chocolate sprinkles, served in a pink cup.
*Oh, and if you want credit for your images, please email me and I will be happy to link you!
Andy Wharhol thought so too. As did everyone else in and around the factory.
I have no idea why he isn’t more of a household name because his hotness transcends all time.
You may recognize his crotch from the Rolling Stones “Sticky Fingers” album, or if you are really into 70’s art films, he was in several of Andy Warhol’s film (really Paul Morrissey) such as "Trash," and "Flesh."
He has become a huge cult icon mostly due to his art house pedigree and unabashed pusher of sexual boundaries on film. I gotta love him for that.
Not sure why he never caught on in the main stream, perhaps he was a little too controversial. But jeez back then it seemed like films were doing all kinds of boundary pushing.
Perhaps it was his laid back attitude. It has been theorized that it was because he was too beautiful. But I don't know...
At any rate, today we celebrate Joe and his timeless man beauty!
I love to read. Sometimes I read up to 3 books a week. Romance and erotica books are my guilty pleasure. I sandwich all my well-being reading with lots of delightful lusty romance.
About a year ago I discovered a book by Cara McKenna called Willing Victim. While the subject matter might not be everyone’s cup of tea, it was clear that the voice of the book was the freshest thing going in the romance/erotica genre that I had read in a long time.
I stayed up until like 3 am with a flashlight under the covers (before my hubs got me a much needed light for my kindle..) to finish this book. It was that good.
There are so many romance books in the marketplace and ever more coming all the time. So it makes sense that sometimes books become predictable, cliché, and formulaic. It is not uncommon for me to start a book, get a few chapters into it, then give it up to the dust pile because the hero and heroine are so idiotic and unnatural that suspending disbelief becomes impossible.
So when I read Willing Victim I was utterly blown away. I was amazed how well she tackled what could potentially be intense, heavy subject matter that could go all kinds of wrong in terms of resembling plausible sexual fantasy. I was captivated how Cara managed to not only make the story and characters real, approachable and fun, but defined healthy, honest sexual care and boundaries between two responsible consenting adults, while still making the characters layered, fun and realistic.
Dang.
I was hooked.
So I promptly downloaded all her books. They are all pretty different from each other, but the "realness" of the emotional world of the characters is always substantial and always interesting. No two dimentional nit-wits in the bunch. She seems to really understand on a very primal level what is sexy to women.
The thing about Cara is her men are always that delicious balance of masculine, and sensitive. Animalistic and humanistic. Utterly sexual and emotionally approachable.
She worships at the alter of the everyday hero. She picks out the best parts of men and revels in the really sexy bits, while revealing what vulnerable qualities might matchup with their complexes. She defines the line between sexual fantasy and reality with rugged aplomb.
She is a modern writer breathing fresh paradigms into an old genre.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love my romance classics, but Cara’s work speaks to modern women and makes it ok to embrace our fantasies and sexuality in a way that matches our contemporary ideals.
If you are not sure if you like edgy modern erotica, then definitely give Meg Maguire’s romance line a try. You get the same voice and textured characters with more of the relationship build up.
Honestly all her books are great, but I feel like she comes largest to the page and is really in her element with her erotica.
I like all her books. Here are my faves:
1. Willing Victim. Published by Ellora's Cave.(This is a book about domination and role-play FANTASY, so yeah, not for everyone. But I think it is one of her best.)
All her books offer snapshot bits of life between two people who are facing their authentic emotions and their sexual edge, and how these come into play in terms of relationship potential. Her work gets better and better, I can not wait to see what she does next!
I had the privilege of being able to ask her a few questions. Here is what she had to say.
1. What is your daily routine like? How do you stay disciplined to write?
Unless I have major revisions to tackle, I write new words every morning, Monday through Friday, usually between seven and twelve. By lunchtime I'm usually tapped, creatively, so I switch to other tasks, like edits or web updates or paperwork. If inspiration strikes, I'll write in the evening or on the weekend, but I try to keep that time writing-free, to recharge my brain and to remind myself that there's a greater world outside the one in my head. I stay disciplined simply because writing is the thing I usually want to be doing most, and because I believe if you treat writing like a serious, lucrative, full-time job, eventually it can become just that.
I don't have daily word count goals. I used to, but I found that I beat myself up unnecessarily on days when the words weren't flowing, and stopped short on days with good momentum as soon as I hit my 2,000-word goal, even though I probably could have gone on and maybe doubled that. So now I have weekly goals, usually 10,000 words a week. That's still an average 2,000 per day, but I might write 1,000 on Monday, 500 on Tuesday, 4,500 on Wednesday... My word counts fluctuate like the weather here in New England, so I quit viewing a 500-word day as a failure, because usually a drought one day will mean a flood a day or two later.
2. What is your favorite aspect of male beauty?
Oh, there are as many favorite physical traits as there are lust worthy men! Eyes, hands, arms, voice... But above all, I think charisma is what makes a man truly attractive. And you can't pay a tailor or trainer to give you charisma.
3. Are there any core beliefs that you have that inform your life on an ongoing basis? (Ex. vegetarian, dog is my co-pilot, church of warm baths, etc.)
I guess the closest I'd have to that is, "Trust your gut." I'm a big believer in intuition. Oh and karma, too. I have to believe in the laws of karma, since if karma weren't real, the world would simply be too unfair a place to live in.
4. What are your top three favorite things about being a woman?
a) The aforementioned gift of intuition b) more interesting clothes and accessories than men get c) multiple orgasms
5. What are you most proud of?
Huh. I've never really thought about that question, possibly because I don't have children yet. I guess I'm proud of lots of small things, like having some books out, having no credit card debt, being able to run a few miles without stopping, the volunteer work I've done with penguins, traveling alone to New Zealand, and having cultivated the perfect chocolate chunk cookie recipe.
6. Just for giggles can you tell us what your top five favorite books are?
I'll give you my all-time top five, some of the books I re-read on a nearly yearly basis, in no particular order: 1. The Long Walk by Richard Bachman (aka Stephen King) 2. A Clergyman's Daughter by George Orwell 3. Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann (no, really) 4. A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving 5. Geek Love by Katherine Dunn Oh, and 6. anything by David Sedaris
Thank you so much to Cara/ Meg for the quickie interview!
And the most exciting thing is Cara has offered to give away a book to one lucky reader.
So just leave a comment and your name will be entered in a drawing to win the book of your choice!
It is my pleasure and privilege to announce my brand new online magazine Belle Femme Gazette!
Belle Femme Gazette celebrates modern women who love style and beauty and who love to learn and grow and live their most radiant lives.
Belle Femme Gazette is dedicated to glamorous wellbeing and the pursuit of your most flourishing beauty!
Please join me daily for fun articles about creativity, culture and eye candy galore!
Belle Femme has great contributors like Erin Shachory from Pop Rocks and Goblins. Erin writes a feature called "Living a Tweenage Dream" about the challenges and charms of raising three pre-teen daughters.
It would be my dearest honor if you would join me and glamorous women everywhere on our pursuit of the most radiant and adventurous life!
It is my belief that if you discover your inner gifts and pursue your life’s purpose you will inspire others to do the same.
I raise my flute of pink champagne to all my beloved readers who inspire me everyday! Pursuing and sharing radiance is my purpose. Inspiring your glamorous wellbeing is my mission. I toast you, your beauty and your radiance!
Make a list of five to ten qualities that you wish you had but don’t.
Here area few of mine.
1. I wish I could sing.
2. I wish I was a better listener.
3. I wish I had a beautiful vocabulary.
4. I wish I had a million dollars.
5. I wish I had more time during the day.
To name a few.
Here is something to notice.
There is absolutely nothing on that list that I could not change if I wanted to. I could learn to sing better if I tried. I could focus on being a better listener right this moment. I could take steps to enhancing my vocabulary, and if I really applied myself, I could find a way to earn a million dollars. I could change the way I view my relationship with time and shift priorities. None of these things are impossible.
The point is, our dearest wishes are totally attainable. It makes me think, “Why do we not try to achieve our dreams?”
One of the reasons I think is because we want these things on our own terms. We want them to be easy.
My wish list should really look something like this:
1. I want to be able to sing like an angel without any practice, process or effort.
2. I want to maintain my relationships to other people without having to invest time or presence.
3. I want to be perceived as smart and mellifluous without efforting or studying words.
4. I want a giant pile of money to drop in my lap without having to have worked for it.
5. I want to do what I want when I want.
This is not a sexy list. It is a little more honest, but not a very flattering set of wishes.
The fact is, the reason why we don’t exercise more, lose weight, practice meditation, invest more in relationships, build deep reserves of wealth, or write a novel is because they are all processed based long-term commitments in which the instant gratifications are sometimes very difficult to see.
The thing about making a commitment to these types of things is that it is actually the “process” part that provides the reward.
The payoffs are grand, no doubt about it, but the actual “doing” of all of these things is where we find the most satisfaction, joy and sense of purpose.
Perhaps it all just comes down to matter of clarity. Do I really want to be a singer?
I guess not since I have never even tried. I think the absolute truth is that I just want to touch people in a deep and emotional way, the way singers do.
If I could open my mouth and push out a sound that makes you feel through your whole body how much I cherish and value you, I would do it. If I could, I would tell you that no matter how painful life can be sometimes, life’s real tangible beauty is available anytime you want it. A dogs thumping tail, a soft breeze that flushes your cheeks, a lazy good morning kiss from your sweetheart, a pot of chicken soup, the “piff piff” sound your kid’s slippers make on the hard wood.
It’s all there.
If I could touch you with my voice and remind you how glorious life is, I would do it with deep listening to the world, while writing beautiful words that make a million dollars in the most relaxed fashion.
I am so glad you enjoy dollybelles peepshow and dollybelle themed artwork, photography and writing! Please know that my entire collection of original designs and writing is trademarked and copyrighted. Any unauthorized use or reproduction of copyrighted designs or material is a no no without previous permission, under the US Federal copyright law, as well as international copyright agreements. We reserve the right to pursue any copyright infringements to the full extent of the law! 2005-2011 by Christine Rose Elle all rights reserved. Thank you!
